Forgiveness: A Choice, A Process, A Clean Heart

Sisters, Beloved… 

There are some things we don’t just talk about…
we walk through.

Forgiveness is one of them.

My Beginning

I accepted Christ as a teenager.

Like many who come to the Lord young, life happened… and I drifted. The pull of the world was real, and I found myself away from God.

But when I rededicated my life to Christ as an adult, I was overwhelmed with gratitude. God had forgiven me again, and I wanted to make things right. I went back to people I had hurt, and to those who had hurt me.

Some received my apology… some did not.

But I did what the Word required:

“Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” - Colossians 3:13 (NIV)

And I moved forward… happy in Jesus.

The Mercy of God

I served the Lord for years… and then I fell again.

I still loved God. I still prayed. And as my pastor once said, God had me on the mercy seat.

God is so kind. So patient. So merciful.

After years away, I cried out again… and He answered me.

“I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.” — Psalm 34:4 (NIV)

He brought me out of sin and shame… again.

That’s the kind of God we serve.

I Thought I Knew Forgiveness

I believed I had a heart of forgiveness.

I forgave the man who murdered my son.
I forgave my father who rejected me.

But as I began studying forgiveness… God began revealing something deeper.

There were places in my heart where hurt had quietly turned into bitterness, things I didn’t even realize were still there.

“See to it… that no bitter root grows up…” - Hebrews 12:15 (NIV)

And in that moment, I went back to the Father:

“Lord, forgive me.”

And by His grace… I received it.

The Revelation

God showed me something that changed everything:

Forgiveness is a choice... just like salvation.

God never forced me to be saved.
Every time I returned to Him… it was a choice.

And every time…

He forgave me.

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us…” — 1 John 1:9 (NIV)

So now…

We choose to forgive:

• out of obedience
• through the love of God
• by the grace of God

The Heart of David

Let’s look at David.

David was called a man after God’s own heart, not because he was perfect…
but because of how he responded when he was wrong.

When his heart was exposed, he cried out:

“Create in me a pure heart, O God…” - Psalm 51:10 (NIV)

He didn’t just ask for forgiveness…

He asked for a new heart.

That is where true forgiveness begins.

Faith + Grace Working Together

“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith…” - Ephesians 2:8 (NIV)

Grace is what God provides.
Faith is how we receive it.

Grace says: “You can forgive.”
Faith says: “Lord, I receive the grace to forgive.”

And once you say yes…

“My grace is sufficient for you…” — 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV)

Grace begins to carry what you could not do on your own.

How to Forgive (Step by Step)

1. Be Honest with God

Acknowledge the hurt.

Psalm 34:18 - God is close to the brokenhearted.

2. Make the Choice

Forgiveness starts with a decision.

Colossians 3:13 - We forgive as Christ forgave us.

3. Give God Your Heart

Invite grace into the process.

2 Corinthians 12:9 - His grace meets your weakness.

4. Do the Word Work

Find the scripture.
Write it out.
Keep it before you.
Pray it.
Believe it.
Receive it.

Ephesians 4:32 says...

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. 

Isaiah 55:11 tells us...

so is my word that goes out of my mouth: it will not return unto me empty but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.

God’s Word works in you as you work it.

5. Release It

Let them go.

Ephesians 4:31 - Release bitterness, anger, and offense.

6. Guard Your Heart

Don’t let it take root again.

Hebrews 12:15- Let no bitter root grow up.

7. Repeat Without Condemnation

Forgiveness may be a process.

Lamentations 3:22–23 - His mercies are new every morning.

A Final Truth

Beloved…

Forgiveness is not about pretending it didn’t hurt.

It’s about choosing freedom.

And when you give God a willing heart…

He will create in you what you could not produce on your own.

Prayer

Father, we honor You as the God of mercy and unfailing love.
Thank You for receiving us again and again, for covering us, and for never turning us away.

We thank You for the gift of forgiveness, both the forgiveness You have given us and the grace You’ve placed within us to extend it to others.

Search our hearts, Lord.
Forgive us for anything we’ve held onto, knowingly or unknowingly.

Now, Father, we choose to forgive.
Heal every wounded place.
Uproot every trace of bitterness.
Restore softness where pain tried to harden us.

We decree Your Word:
Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. (Psalm 51:10)

And we declare:
We walk in freedom.
We walk in wholeness.
We walk in the peace of God.

In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Declaration

I choose to forgive.
God is creating in me a clean heart.
His grace is working in me and through me.
I release what hurt me and receive His peace.
I walk in freedom, wholeness, and restoration.

I’m stepping into the season of overflow.

Beloved…

Forgiveness didn’t break you, it freed you.

What you released no longer has a hold on you. What once weighed heavy… has been lifted by grace.

This is your new space... a clean heart, a quiet spirit, and room for God to move in ways you didn’t expect. Walk gently in it. And when the memories try to revisit… stand in what God has already done.

You are free.
You are whole.
You are walking in the promises of God.

And from this place…

expect the overflow.